“June”
WHO WAS THE PERSON IN YOUR LIFE WITH THE EATING DISORDER?
WAS THERE A TIME WHEN YOU FELT LIKE RECOVERY WOULD NEVER HAPPEN?
- Absolutely. At the first time of diagnosis I had in my head stories of kids who were chronically sick. I’d heard that stereotype abs was terrified. Also in the depths of some of the worst behaviors when it took all day to get [my child] to eat it was hard to see a way out or to see how it would ever end.
was recovery smooth and linear? or difficult and rocky?
- Many many very tough months. Then a long period where we took 2 steps forward one step back. Then suddenly I realized the good periods were getting longer and the bad periods shorter. Then finally the last bad period was weeks then months in the past and our child was the kid we remembered.
WERE THERE ANY THINGS THAT MADE THE PATH TOWARDS RECOVERY EASIER?
- Definitely getting very rapid good advice. I feel badly given how much bad advice there is out there for families. In retrospect the decision to be very aggressive and try and get [my child] better quickly – that dark difficult period was so hard on everyone in the family. Understanding it was the disease not my kid with the behaviors and really internalizing that to have no blame whatsoever on my D. Blame and guilt would have made this so much harder.
- Having the support to stand firm on [my child]’s distress. There were definitely points when it was hard to trust the process but knowing distress tolerance was needed by parents and support to keep going was important.
HOW IS YOUR LIFE DIFFERENT NOW THAT THE ED IS BEHIND YOU?
- Oh I’m so many ways. Our life doesn’t revolve around food for one thing. [My child] is able to doing activities and not have us hovering all the time. They went to summer camp! We all have less stress and anxiety and their siblings are in a better situation now that they see D healthy and there’s less stress in the house. They also had underlying other issues that we are now able to address with doctors whereas before we had to only address the disease
ADVICE I WOULD SHARE WITH SOMEONE WHO WAS STRUGGLING WITH AN EATING DISORDER:
- I don’t know if I can say anything meaningful as I know how hard this is. I guess recovery is possible- if your parents are helping you get better then trust them and also this disease is not your fault!
ADVICE I WOULD SHARE WITH THE *FAMILY* OF SOMEONE WHO WAS STRUGGLING WITH AN EATING DISORDER:
- Don’t blame your child.
- Don’t blame yourself.
- Find evidence based advice (Maudsley) and do it!
- Your job is to keep your kid alive not keep them happy or happy with you
- Yes it will be unbelievably hard but food is medicine and it can work.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT BELIEVE THAT RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE, OR THAT IT WILL EVER HAPPEN?
- I worry about this and I worry about relapse. But everyone is sometimes unhappy or unhappy about their body. That’s not the same. All I can say is that we are in a different place now- a place where paradoxically food doesn’t control our lives. It’s a good and happy place to be, so I believe in full recovery.
HAVE YOU COME ACROSS ANY QUOTES THAT HAVE BEEN HELPFUL (OR DO YOU HAVE ANY OF YOUR OWN)?
- Food is medicine.
- It’s the ED not your child