Chase

Absolutely. We were doing family based therapy and then switched to a PHP day program. It’s was during the height of COVID in 2020. We pulled our child out of school for treatment. It was terrifying wondering if we were making the right decisions but we were watching their weight drop lower and lower despite all of our efforts to do the opposite. Our whole family was falling apart. We were making our 11 year old child sleep in bed with us for safety and had motion detectors in the bathrooms. We were all living in a nightmare that we couldn’t escape from.

Very rocky at first. Then once we realized how to access the professionals and care we needed it became smoother but it still had its share of stress and ups and downs.

Facebook support groups were amazing. I felt like such a failure as a mom during all of this and those groups helped me to feel less alone. They also helped guide us to find an amazing inpatient residential facility which was the hardest thing we ever did but also saved our child’s life.

Loud life doesn’t revolve around food. Our child has freedoms again and has even able to join after school activities with their peers. We don’t have motion detectors in our bathrooms or have to supervise bathroom time anymore. We have all learned that discussing other people’s food and bodies is not something we do. In some ways it’s been educational for my other children and for us. But it feels like we can just take a deep breath and just move on with life while being conscious that we are aware it could always return and so we continue with maintenance type activities to acknowledge the history of ED so that it hopefully never shows up again.

Don’t be afraid to seek professional help. We felt like looking for higher levels of treatment meant we were failing but COVID gave us so many limitations and seeking residential care saved our whole family. Look for support from other parents and caregivers going through this. Stay calm even when you want to scream. Find the Eva Musby YouTube videos and watch them repeatedly. They were so helpful to me. See a therapist for yourself. Caregiver burnout is very real. Don’t give up and keep fighting the ED monster.

You didn’t cause it. Educate yourself because the world we live in is so diet and food focused and it contributes to the negative thoughts around body image and food. Some people can just ignore it but others struggle with it. Seek counseling for yourself too. Families and caregivers struggles with the burden of EDs so take care of yourself and your family. ED, much like addiction, is a family disease and really affects the whole family.

I would say that you just haven’t found the right reason to recover yet. Keep fighting. Keep looking for new people to walk with you on the journey. Don’t settle for just what is in your geographical area. If you have the means, go elsewhere to find the right treatment for you. We sent our 11 year old 7 hours away to make sure it was the right facility for her. It’s life and death and you have to fight against it that way. We made our child fully immerse in to treatment and we caught it early. We were very lucky.

Watch the Eva Musby Help your Child Eat with Trust not Logic you tube video. It’s so good at explaining how mealtime feels for someone with AN.